Short and Sweet

Well my right arm and neck have been giving me a hard time - I tweeked the never and all week I have been beeing very good so it gets better as quick as possible - thats why there have been no posts ! I am lido now and even though I feel pretty loopy I wanted to say hi....I haven't given up - just taking good care of myself. I have so many xmas things I want to do but physically I am not able sooo I will be good and ask for help and just do what I can. I also wanted to say OMG its snowing for the first time this year...well rain mixed with snow but still. Well I better go nap...this lido treatment is super strength - last night the wall in the bedroom was moving and I was talking to the cat!!! LOL Bee back soon.

The season is upon us - how did that happen soooo darn fast!

Well I am back....holy cow it seems I have been sooo busy - oh ya Christmas is coming....along with ALOT of birthdays in my family. Lets see Its my Jacobean's birthday on the 7th, my brother's birthday on the 13th, the 22n

Publish Post

d is Kristen's birthday, 23rd is my dad's birthday and the 26th is my birthday and my cousin's birthday and the 27th is my littlest nephew's birthday. So I have been at the mall this week looking at christmas ideas for my out of town extended family and missing them and remembering fond memories. I have been excited thinking about visiting Santa at the mall and getting Christmas cards in the mail. I love this season, I love the smell in the air, I love the music, the hugs, the time spent with friends and family, baking and the giving and getting of baking...I love watching all the kids dressed up to get their picture with Santa and I love getting new photos of my god kids and my cousin's kids in the mail. Ohh and I love the Christmas shows too, miracle on 34th etc....so this holidays season in all its hecticness...remember to take a minute and ENJOY it with those you love. I know I will. :)

Joshua Morro

Well I like a lot of people watch young and the restless....and "Nick" (Joshua morrow) came to the mall down the street from me. I got up early (for me) and stood in line for an hour and a half to meet him, shake his hand, get an autograph!! I have been beaming all day. He is hot and down to earth. He is married and has three kids...it was actually a contest. Some lucky person named Michelle won and she got picked up in a Limo and got to spend time with hi (her and 3 friends)....so 250 other people wait in line to meet him and there are tv's with the show playing....it was fun!! I went with Tanya (I went to high school with her) and ran into her the day before in the states while shopping (what are the odds!) so anyways Tanya, her friend Val and myself met at the mall and had fun drooling over Joshua. I got my photo taken with him (my eyes are closed of course!) but I still look happy. I started thinking about how I got hooked watching the show... and the person that got me into the show was my grandma...as a kid we would watch it together. Then I was hooked and eventually I got my Nan hooked too! It was a great experience and I am so glad I went. I immediatley walked to Walmart to get my photo printed (me and josh) and then home for a rest. (dreaming about Josh ) lol Well off to dinner at my parents...glad to share my fun. Cheers for now!!

what pain does

Well its been a rough few days internally. I haven't felt so well and pain really pushes me into myself at times. I feel alone at times and not the kind of alone where someone sits next to you and you aren't alone but the kind where 3 people could be sitting with you and you feel alone. The kind of pain where alot of parts hurt, joint pain, neck, shoulder, belly hurts deep inside and i feel nauseated and all i can do is cry.  Then i take medication that makes me feel loopy and tired and unlike myself - but really this is me right now and even though I am hoping and praying that I will get better than I am.....Its hard to know these days. I fall asleep sitting up while typing this much - three times. I do my best to accept me the way that I am but its hard at times when the people around me seem to be upset and frustrated with who I am and I am working so hard but its hard and I am doing my best not to be negative....some days that is hard . Some days I wish I had my best friend and babies to just climb in bed with or go to walmart with and feel loved just the way I am. Instead I close my eyes and remember or give them a call :) Being understood is important to me....and right now it seems harder to understand. But tomorrow is a new day, with all new possibilities and for that I am greatful. I started this post the other day when it was a HARD day but today as I am typing I have less pain - I had lidocaine yesterday and today and even though it numbs me sometimes that is what is needed to get threw the hard days and change my perception of the pain and my demeaner and get me smiling again. I am VERY blessed in spite of everything....I have a wonderful husband, bestfriend, room mate and friends and family. They are what keep me going. They are what help keep me smiling. They keep me feeling loved. I wouldn't take back all that I have gone threw....its made me - ME. The hard part is accepting me now and letting go of who I used to be and making that ok with me (and everyone else for that matter). I am a moving target day to day and I never know what I am going to get - which is why I hold on tight to things that are scheduled or consistant. Well off to get something to eat - rice krispies here I come...meal of champianss LOL.

Its almost Halloween!

Ohhh I love Halloween! My cousin Rachel just helped me figure out what to be for halloween - I am going to be a fish tank!! I have a fish hat and I am going to use a blue sheet and put sea life on it! Exciting...and easy and fun! I am using my lidocaine holder that Penny made me for the first time...I will send her a photo to post.

A big Week

Its October 25th - and its a full week....exciting full of activity. Today is My hubby's Birthday - 36 today! And I certainly can't squak as my birthday is in 2 months lol. But it is so odd to me that we have been together for almost 20 years which is long when you are only 36 - but its a special bond I treasure....knowing eachother, helping each other grow over the years in the good times and in the hard times....its pretty cool. But today is Adam's Birthday - Kristen and I gave him his birthday gifts - so cd's and a dvd etc and then to my parents to celebrate with cake! At times like this I wish my bestest bud and my babies lived closer but - we think of themm talk to them and have cake for them too! :) - and I gain another pound lol. Its a special week as on wednesday Adam and I are going to a thank you tea that we were invited to by Dr. Lau and I am very excited. The Hospital Foundation bought a new piece of equipment for the pain clinic and Dr. Lau is giving a short speech about it. I am so honoured to have been invited and to be apart of it. I feel kinda bad that Kristen can't go...I wish she could but with her new job she isn't able to. Well I started taking my Cannibis spray 4 x per day and sometimes it seems to really help and sometimes I just feel plain loopy ( I know just when you thought I couldn't get any more loopy!) lol.....tomorrow I am going to see Ethel and then Heather is coming for dinner - which is great haven't seen her for a while....wednesday the Tea and lunch with my mom and thursday.....my goodness note to self to pay more attention when things drop into my week! I will post a new photo of me wearing the new Lido holder after my apt thursday! Well butterflies in my tummy about this tea tomorrow. Till next time.

The Day And Appointment That We Have Been Waiting For!

So today was the big day we have been waiting for...the appointment with Dr. May Ong -Lam - it went really well over all. She wants to do her own diagnosis, so she gave me the homework of getting her as much info and results that we can get for her. She also wants me to see a Gastro Dr. at St. Paul's hospital  and hopefully work with. She also did an examination and said that the right side of my intestine is working less than the right side, which makes sense since its the right side that has pain. She also asked me to take one of my sativex spray four times per day to see if it helped the pain. So it looks like it won't be till next year before I would get into the hospital - I am also wondering if I may end up with another surgery if she finds that I have something structural versus functional. So I am exited to see where we go from here!!