Short and Sweet

Well my right arm and neck have been giving me a hard time - I tweeked the never and all week I have been beeing very good so it gets better as quick as possible - thats why there have been no posts ! I am lido now and even though I feel pretty loopy I wanted to say hi....I haven't given up - just taking good care of myself. I have so many xmas things I want to do but physically I am not able sooo I will be good and ask for help and just do what I can. I also wanted to say OMG its snowing for the first time this year...well rain mixed with snow but still. Well I better go nap...this lido treatment is super strength - last night the wall in the bedroom was moving and I was talking to the cat!!! LOL Bee back soon.

The season is upon us - how did that happen soooo darn fast!

Well I am back....holy cow it seems I have been sooo busy - oh ya Christmas is coming....along with ALOT of birthdays in my family. Lets see Its my Jacobean's birthday on the 7th, my brother's birthday on the 13th, the 22n

Publish Post

d is Kristen's birthday, 23rd is my dad's birthday and the 26th is my birthday and my cousin's birthday and the 27th is my littlest nephew's birthday. So I have been at the mall this week looking at christmas ideas for my out of town extended family and missing them and remembering fond memories. I have been excited thinking about visiting Santa at the mall and getting Christmas cards in the mail. I love this season, I love the smell in the air, I love the music, the hugs, the time spent with friends and family, baking and the giving and getting of baking...I love watching all the kids dressed up to get their picture with Santa and I love getting new photos of my god kids and my cousin's kids in the mail. Ohh and I love the Christmas shows too, miracle on 34th etc....so this holidays season in all its hecticness...remember to take a minute and ENJOY it with those you love. I know I will. :)

Joshua Morro

Well I like a lot of people watch young and the restless....and "Nick" (Joshua morrow) came to the mall down the street from me. I got up early (for me) and stood in line for an hour and a half to meet him, shake his hand, get an autograph!! I have been beaming all day. He is hot and down to earth. He is married and has three kids...it was actually a contest. Some lucky person named Michelle won and she got picked up in a Limo and got to spend time with hi (her and 3 friends)....so 250 other people wait in line to meet him and there are tv's with the show playing....it was fun!! I went with Tanya (I went to high school with her) and ran into her the day before in the states while shopping (what are the odds!) so anyways Tanya, her friend Val and myself met at the mall and had fun drooling over Joshua. I got my photo taken with him (my eyes are closed of course!) but I still look happy. I started thinking about how I got hooked watching the show... and the person that got me into the show was my grandma...as a kid we would watch it together. Then I was hooked and eventually I got my Nan hooked too! It was a great experience and I am so glad I went. I immediatley walked to Walmart to get my photo printed (me and josh) and then home for a rest. (dreaming about Josh ) lol Well off to dinner at my parents...glad to share my fun. Cheers for now!!

what pain does

Well its been a rough few days internally. I haven't felt so well and pain really pushes me into myself at times. I feel alone at times and not the kind of alone where someone sits next to you and you aren't alone but the kind where 3 people could be sitting with you and you feel alone. The kind of pain where alot of parts hurt, joint pain, neck, shoulder, belly hurts deep inside and i feel nauseated and all i can do is cry.  Then i take medication that makes me feel loopy and tired and unlike myself - but really this is me right now and even though I am hoping and praying that I will get better than I am.....Its hard to know these days. I fall asleep sitting up while typing this much - three times. I do my best to accept me the way that I am but its hard at times when the people around me seem to be upset and frustrated with who I am and I am working so hard but its hard and I am doing my best not to be negative....some days that is hard . Some days I wish I had my best friend and babies to just climb in bed with or go to walmart with and feel loved just the way I am. Instead I close my eyes and remember or give them a call :) Being understood is important to me....and right now it seems harder to understand. But tomorrow is a new day, with all new possibilities and for that I am greatful. I started this post the other day when it was a HARD day but today as I am typing I have less pain - I had lidocaine yesterday and today and even though it numbs me sometimes that is what is needed to get threw the hard days and change my perception of the pain and my demeaner and get me smiling again. I am VERY blessed in spite of everything....I have a wonderful husband, bestfriend, room mate and friends and family. They are what keep me going. They are what help keep me smiling. They keep me feeling loved. I wouldn't take back all that I have gone threw....its made me - ME. The hard part is accepting me now and letting go of who I used to be and making that ok with me (and everyone else for that matter). I am a moving target day to day and I never know what I am going to get - which is why I hold on tight to things that are scheduled or consistant. Well off to get something to eat - rice krispies here I come...meal of champianss LOL.